I was in a bad place
Oh Monday, you're just not my favourite
Blue. Boos. Monday.
Biggest weekend come down in ages
Monday blues, boo.
Oh, I'm speaking in metaphors
Metaphorical come down,
Not pharmaceutical. Gosh.
Crashing.
CRASHING, boo.
Finally.
Finally, finish work.
Home time.
Karangahape Road time
K Road makes me smile
I find myself smiling when I go down K Road
I find myself waiting for the green man a lot
On K Road
It was where Upper Queen Street meets
K Road, on K Road.
Through the crowd.
Through the crowd on K Road
My first Auckland accidentalchinesehipster
Through the crowd. Mid to late 40s
A red helmet. Orange, brown roots
Under a red helmet.
Dyed to cover the greys, obv
Mismatched denims
Not that matching would be better.
Flared jeans.
Flares, and a BMX bike at her side.
A BMX bike.
She was wheeling it along but
The helmet was strapped under her chin.
I think it was her bike.
I think it was her BMX bike.
I love you lady, you made my day
I love you K Road
I love you accidentalchinesehipsters.tumblr.com
I love you Monday
Monday 29 August 2011
Thursday 25 August 2011
Bicycle
Shit. I was killing myself. There was 5 of us. We all came to meet this lady who was selling her bike. She wanted rid of it because every time she went round a corner, she'd fall off it. Yup.
We all wanted this bike so we kept straight faces while she shared her fallingoffroundeverycorner anecdote. I was struggling. Sometimes stuff is just so much funnier when you know you can't laugh out loud about it. I was ready to explode inside. The image was too much.
Biting my lip, focusing on the table.
I knew not to make eye contact with anyone. Laughing inside. I looked up. Bad mistake. I caught one of the guys. I made eyes with one of the guys, and I just lost it. Shiiiii. Ohmygoodness, I was crying. There was tears.
The woman glared at me. I felt a bit bad that I had disrupted her story. She didn't need to say anymore. We were hooked.
I can't even really remember what the bike looked like but it was nice. Kinda metallic blue road bike. It had a kick stand. I remember that. Why do I remember that? Nice slender frame, it looked good.
I tuned back into the conversation, and the woman was going on about how she was going to sell the bike to the person who she felt had the biggest connection with the bike. The price was fixed. Much like those trendybastard fixed gear bikes (although I secretly want one, a lot).
The whole time no one questioned why the woman got thrown off the bike round each corner. We just assumed it was the woman. She fixed her eyes on me now: how old are you, she questioned, like 40?
I was shocked by this guess. Everyone always guesses younger. I look young. Somehow her question made me angry. I was raging, eh. No idea why. No, you silly old woman, I outbursted, I'm 24. I felt so offended. I have no idea why. I was MORTIFIED, for no real reason.
I immediately knew I had lost the bike just then. Don't piss off the old woman who you want the bike off for goodness sakes!
Who falls off their bike going round a corner anyway?
We all wanted this bike so we kept straight faces while she shared her fallingoffroundeverycorner anecdote. I was struggling. Sometimes stuff is just so much funnier when you know you can't laugh out loud about it. I was ready to explode inside. The image was too much.
Biting my lip, focusing on the table.
I knew not to make eye contact with anyone. Laughing inside. I looked up. Bad mistake. I caught one of the guys. I made eyes with one of the guys, and I just lost it. Shiiiii. Ohmygoodness, I was crying. There was tears.
The woman glared at me. I felt a bit bad that I had disrupted her story. She didn't need to say anymore. We were hooked.
I can't even really remember what the bike looked like but it was nice. Kinda metallic blue road bike. It had a kick stand. I remember that. Why do I remember that? Nice slender frame, it looked good.
I tuned back into the conversation, and the woman was going on about how she was going to sell the bike to the person who she felt had the biggest connection with the bike. The price was fixed. Much like those trendybastard fixed gear bikes (although I secretly want one, a lot).
The whole time no one questioned why the woman got thrown off the bike round each corner. We just assumed it was the woman. She fixed her eyes on me now: how old are you, she questioned, like 40?
I was shocked by this guess. Everyone always guesses younger. I look young. Somehow her question made me angry. I was raging, eh. No idea why. No, you silly old woman, I outbursted, I'm 24. I felt so offended. I have no idea why. I was MORTIFIED, for no real reason.
I immediately knew I had lost the bike just then. Don't piss off the old woman who you want the bike off for goodness sakes!
Who falls off their bike going round a corner anyway?
Kiwi chat (working draft)
I've been in New Zealand just over 4 months now. I love picking up on the words this small nation of people use. I've marked this post as a working draft because I'm still collecting the lingo.
First off, let me introduce some phrases which I like to use. It can be an exchange. Language change happens everyday. Pass it on!
- What's the chat? What's goin on? What's happening?
- Pal Friend. They don't really use this here. I'm bringing it here. Thank you to Glasgow for the influence.
- Wee shame Aw, that's a little bit unfortunate.
- Rubbish Not good.
- Ace Very good.
Kiwi chat, let's start with the basics:
- Choice
Used as an exclamation of appreciation, or to describe something that's really good
Those shoes are choice!
- Mean
Same as above. Really cool, good
I had a mean weekend eh!
- Sweet as! I like this one, sweet as... what??
1. Great,
I made you a cup of tea
Aw, sweet as!
2. No worries
How much do I owe you for petrol?
It's sweet as, don't worry!
- Adjective as
You can pretty much use any adjective with 'as' for extra emphasis, to intensify the meaning
Yup, keen as
Oh mate, I'm sleepy as
- Eh
I've seen some funny spelling variations of this. Some people spell it 'aye' but coming from Scotland, I'm just not buying it. They are big fans of building rapport here when chatting. This along with the rising intonation towards the end of phrases, i.e. sounds like they are asking questions the whole time but they're not (always).
Good party eh!
- Bro
Brother, friend, mate. Can be used for both sexes.
Sweet as, bro!
- Chur I've also seen this doubled up, chur chur
Cheers, thanks
Chur bro!
- Oh yup
An acknowledgement. Like, yes, yup, or oh yeah.
Oh yup!
- Yeh, nah, yeh...
Means yes. I think it's like a, oh I'm deciding, yeah go on, yeah.
Do you want a cup of tea?
Yea, nah, yeh...
- Yeh, nah
I'm not sure about that
Yeh, nah...
- Stink
Rubbish, or bad.
I just got soaked walking home
Oh stink!
I can't get use to this one. You'll hear like 40 year old men say this: Anywhere else in the world you wouldn't hear anyone over 4yrs old say this.
- Stink buzz
Rubbish chat, bad vibes
Oh, stink buzz!
I just heard this one for the first time the other night. I think it's horrendous.
- Dumb
Stupid, rubbish
My flatmates won't let me get a cat
Oh dumb!
This is quite similar to stink, I can't get used to it.
Work chat
- Flick me a txt/ email
Send me a txt
Yup, just flick me a txt when you're ready
I'm not a fan of 'flick', flick me a txt- flick yourself a txt!
- Dominated
Really busy, owned
I was dominated at work today, didn't finish til 8
Kiwis are always talking about how much they're being dominated. They love it.
Other
- Heaps- this is not exclusively NZ but they do use it excessively here
Lots, loads
I took heaps of photos last night
- Park
A parking space
I'm looking for a park, keep an eye out for a park
- Dairy
Corner shop, newsagent or convenience store
- Togs
Boardshorts, swim wear
- Jandals
Flip flops
I'll be listening out for more, or if you have any suggestions, send them my way!
Chur!
First off, let me introduce some phrases which I like to use. It can be an exchange. Language change happens everyday. Pass it on!
- What's the chat? What's goin on? What's happening?
- Pal Friend. They don't really use this here. I'm bringing it here. Thank you to Glasgow for the influence.
- Wee shame Aw, that's a little bit unfortunate.
- Rubbish Not good.
- Ace Very good.
Kiwi chat, let's start with the basics:
- Choice
Used as an exclamation of appreciation, or to describe something that's really good
Those shoes are choice!
- Mean
Same as above. Really cool, good
I had a mean weekend eh!
- Sweet as! I like this one, sweet as... what??
1. Great,
I made you a cup of tea
Aw, sweet as!
2. No worries
How much do I owe you for petrol?
It's sweet as, don't worry!
- Adjective as
You can pretty much use any adjective with 'as' for extra emphasis, to intensify the meaning
Yup, keen as
Oh mate, I'm sleepy as
- Eh
I've seen some funny spelling variations of this. Some people spell it 'aye' but coming from Scotland, I'm just not buying it. They are big fans of building rapport here when chatting. This along with the rising intonation towards the end of phrases, i.e. sounds like they are asking questions the whole time but they're not (always).
Good party eh!
- Bro
Brother, friend, mate. Can be used for both sexes.
Sweet as, bro!
- Chur I've also seen this doubled up, chur chur
Cheers, thanks
Chur bro!
- Oh yup
An acknowledgement. Like, yes, yup, or oh yeah.
Oh yup!
- Yeh, nah, yeh...
Means yes. I think it's like a, oh I'm deciding, yeah go on, yeah.
Do you want a cup of tea?
Yea, nah, yeh...
- Yeh, nah
I'm not sure about that
Yeh, nah...
- Stink
Rubbish, or bad.
I just got soaked walking home
Oh stink!
I can't get use to this one. You'll hear like 40 year old men say this: Anywhere else in the world you wouldn't hear anyone over 4yrs old say this.
- Stink buzz
Rubbish chat, bad vibes
Oh, stink buzz!
I just heard this one for the first time the other night. I think it's horrendous.
- Dumb
Stupid, rubbish
My flatmates won't let me get a cat
Oh dumb!
This is quite similar to stink, I can't get used to it.
Work chat
- Flick me a txt/ email
Send me a txt
Yup, just flick me a txt when you're ready
I'm not a fan of 'flick', flick me a txt- flick yourself a txt!
- Dominated
Really busy, owned
I was dominated at work today, didn't finish til 8
Kiwis are always talking about how much they're being dominated. They love it.
Other
- Heaps- this is not exclusively NZ but they do use it excessively here
Lots, loads
I took heaps of photos last night
- Park
A parking space
I'm looking for a park, keep an eye out for a park
- Dairy
Corner shop, newsagent or convenience store
- Togs
Boardshorts, swim wear
- Jandals
Flip flops
I'll be listening out for more, or if you have any suggestions, send them my way!
Chur!
Princess
At first it was kinda cute. I was in the kitchen making a cup of tea, and a grey cat comes along and sits on the window sill to say hi. Big eyes, just peeking in. I was happy to make friends. I tap on the window. Tap, tap. Tapping on the window like it's a fish tank. Tap, tap. Not really sure how to interact with this curious creature, it can't talk. Hello cat.
It's collar said, 'Hello, I'm new to the area. If I appear lost, please call ...'
We have a cat flap in our flat. We don't have a cat. There's a wee lock on it so we don't get random cats coming in for a party when we're all out at work. Anyways, the grey cat comes over to the cat flap and starts pawing at the flap. Tap, tap. I thought this was kinda cute but I was like you're not coming in pal. So it just sits there, and meows. It's collar had turned round now, Princess. Oh pal, just because you're name's Princess doesn't mean you can just come strolling in here! Silly cat. I laugh, and go away to drink my tea.
Princess will come by every couple of days just to say hi. Have a wee nosey. Watch me make my breakfast. My flatmates have no idea what I'm talking about, having never met the grey cat. I just wonder why it keeps coming back. No ones feeding in. What does it want?
Maybe trying to make pals cos we're both kinda new in town.
I'm not going to go around tapping on people's windows though.
Princess...
It's collar said, 'Hello, I'm new to the area. If I appear lost, please call ...'
We have a cat flap in our flat. We don't have a cat. There's a wee lock on it so we don't get random cats coming in for a party when we're all out at work. Anyways, the grey cat comes over to the cat flap and starts pawing at the flap. Tap, tap. I thought this was kinda cute but I was like you're not coming in pal. So it just sits there, and meows. It's collar had turned round now, Princess. Oh pal, just because you're name's Princess doesn't mean you can just come strolling in here! Silly cat. I laugh, and go away to drink my tea.
Princess will come by every couple of days just to say hi. Have a wee nosey. Watch me make my breakfast. My flatmates have no idea what I'm talking about, having never met the grey cat. I just wonder why it keeps coming back. No ones feeding in. What does it want?
Maybe trying to make pals cos we're both kinda new in town.
I'm not going to go around tapping on people's windows though.
Princess...
Saturday 20 August 2011
Closing time
It was closing time
The man took the chair, turned it upside down,
popped it on the table. Cushioned side down.
He then moves to the chair next to it,
repeats this step. Upside down.
This one had a fluffy cushion which he placed
on the other side of where it had been sat all day.
Onto the table. Upside down. Distracted,
he walks back into the cafe.
The man shuffles back but he has moved
onto another table. There was still 4 seats waiting,
waiting to be popped on from the previous table.
Forgotten
He was old.
This man.
Again, he pops on 2 out of 6 of the new table,
and then clears cups from another table.
Walks back into the cafe.
My friend is off to be a sailor in forbidden waters. Nothing exotic, just the UK but yea he pissed someone off at some point so he might not be all that welcome. He can always study something else at uni, he concludes. Maybe sound engineering. What did you study? English language. Ah, that explains why you're... Ah, what's the word... I've got a really good word. He swirls his hands. Thinking. What's-ing.
The man has been waltzing around
flipping random chairs here and there.
Apart from the kid's table
which he has stacked on a normal, adult (?) table
with the kids chairs on top. All four legs.
The man had created a piece of art in his closing, and tidying up efforts.
Quirky, old ocd man.
Wednesday 17 August 2011
Thursday 11 August 2011
Monday 8 August 2011
Cat bread.
 |
| Colonel Mustard |
I locked the cat in the kitchen
by accident, and when
I got back 2 or 3 hours later,
it had eaten 6 bread rolls.
Cats don't even eat bread.
- Picture, and words unrelated.
Thank you to Marja Kipperman for the entertaining story.
Monday 1 August 2011
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