Humble Jumble

You love going to see live music.

Waiting for the tickets to go on sale. Booking the tickets. Getting the tickets. The buzz. The heavy rotation of their music as you count down the days to the gig. They're your faves anyway but you find yourself listening to them even more than usual. And then the night comes and you listen to their music as you're getting ready to go see them live for the first time ever. Live. In your small wee humble town. Tonight they're playing your town of all places. Tonights the night.

You get to the venue. There's a queue but no worries because you've got your tickets already. Everyone shuffles along buzzing with excitement and anticipation. You get inside and everyone is chatting and dancing and smiling and checking out the crowd and waiting and meeting new friends; bonding over your mutual love for the music. And gin and tonics. You meet a new friend who can't remember your name even though you've told them about three different times, but they are still making the effort to introduce you to their friends. Which is nice. Eventually you just tell them your name is Ginny; they don't even realise its changed but they remember it now. Ginny. You smile to yourself. Hee, funny.

The venue is small. Intimate. The main act is out mingling with the crowd. That's cool. It's a small venue. They're out meeting their fans, their support. You like that. You decide to go over and say hi and tell them you love their stuff. The same stuff everyone tells them really, but it's okay because it's true.

Chat chat chat. Someone brings over three drinks. Gin and tonics. 'Wow look at everyone buying you drinks', you say. The main act sticks out their wrist showing your their paper wristband, 'I'm the main act, I get free drinks', they explain. 'I know you're the main act', you say. 'What is this', they say, 'why are you talking like I think I'm the shit cos I'm the main act. Oh I know you're the main act. That's not me man. I'm an individual. I'm humble. That's why I'm out here talking to the fans. You don't even know me. Like I know you must be okay because you are out here tonight showing your support for my music but don't say that man. I'm humble. This is not how you have a conversation with someone you don't know. Maybe I am too serious but I'm not cool with what you said. Oh I know you're the main act. Not cool.'

WOW, you think, and for a second you do feel kind of apologetic because you do support their music, and you do look up to them as an artist. But mostly you think, WOW, what a complete dickhead. But of course you don't think this til later because you're are still buzzing from being there and meeting them.

You think it's kinda European how it was all organised which is maybe what our humble main act requested. The local support acts were still going strong, and killin it at 2am. The venue normally shuts at 2am. Redbulls were being ordered. People were dropping out. They couldn't handle the pace. Or maybe they were just there to support the locals which is great. You love that.

The main act finally goes on stage around 4am; plays a very average set. You're still thinking about their lecture from earlier: was your small comment really that offensive? You get no buzz from hearing them live. You think that maybe if they played a BANGIN set, their arrogance could maybe be justified. Maybe. But then it's all over and you leave feeling kinda disappointed. You go home and you go to sleep.

Casting Call

We just need you to say, 'where did he get all that popcorn from?' in your thickest Scottish accent.

Oh okay. Hey, I just left my friend, I can go get her if you like, she has a thicker accent than me, I offer.

Is she Asian?

No

Yeah, we kinda want someone who doesn't sound like they should, he explained.

Oh.

#86

She told me that I had neat handwriting
I said, thanks