Buy some for your mother!

The view from our balcony...

After spending the night in Phuket airport. (We actually planned this... !) We arrive in rainy B a l i.

I love going to the market here in Asia. Prices are rarely fixed so you get to barter and have some chat with the locals. I know people would rather not waste the 5 minutes but it's all part of the shopping experience! The Balinese all think I'm Japanese but I'm from Scotland... I like a bargain !

First impressions- the Balinese are really friendly people. They always stop for a chat, but not just because they want to make a sale. Quite a few of them have Australian accents too tehehe. Lots of Australian tourists here.

How much are these shorts?

How many you want? Cheaper for more.

I've only got 1 pair of legs, just one!

No, you buy more, I give it to you cheaper. Buy some for your mother!

Haha, no. One pair- how much?

Okay, Japanese price 120,000... Australian Price 180,000...

I got them for 40,000. He raised his hand a few times but I wasn't sure if he wanted to hit me, or slap me in the back for being cheeky. I kinda threw 40 out there to begin with and stuck with it.

C'mon you buy two, 100,000...

Ah, so one for 120,000; two for 100,000 !

It's all good, light hearted fun. It's important to support the locals. As we were leaving he tried to sell me a wooden penis bottle opener !

That's what you get for being cheeky.

Coffee?

Vietnamese coffee

We've been on quite a few over night sleeper buses here in Vietnam. The rides are bumpy, and well, you don't get that much sleep. The coffee is good though. This stuff would kick start a corpse.

You have to wait a few moments for the coffee to filter through.

The first one I had was black. Very strong. The next day I decided to try it with condensed milk and it taste like Kahlua or Baileys. Creamy but also sickly sweet. When you ask for sugar they load it with the stuff. Spoon, spoon, spoon. Tastes good.

I just bought a bag of weasel coffee. I'd heard of cat coffee before but I think its the same same. I'll have to wait til I get home to try it though unless I come across it again on my travels. I'll let you know.

Hanoi to Hue

We got back from Halong Bay with a few hours to wait before boarding the 13hr 'sleeper' bus to Hue. Apparently it would stop every 3,4 hours but of course it didn't- left at 7.30, didn't stop til 1am. There was a toilet onboard but you have to clamber over the locals who have set up camp in the aisles to get there!

My seat belt didn't tighten so I held on the whole time. I didn't really sleep on my side for fear of rolling off the top bunk. It was a bumpy ride- bouncing while you're horizontal is a strange feeling. I was also shot to the bottom of my bunk constantly because of the emergency stops- there are no real rules on the roads of Vietnam...

Arrive in Hue looking like zombies, and we're greeted by a bunch of locals- 'Hello, where are you from?'; 'Hello, you want hotel, where are you from?'; 'Hello, motorbike?'. The buses tend to drop you off outside a hotel they are associated with. Me and Pete had already made reservations at Hue Backpackers Hostel so off we trotted.

Hue was a welcome change to the busy fume park that was Hanoi. We did our usual and rented bikes to explore. The bikes have no gears. They are city bikes. I wish I could do the same back home. I love cycling on the roads here. Its totally chaotic but with a bit of cooperation everyone gets to their destination safe.

Across the river is the citadel going around the Palace and Forbidden Purple City. Its beautiful but still recovering from the War with constant restoration. We come out the South exit to try and find some lunch but walked all the way back to the front with no luck. We got our bikes back, 10, 000 dng for the attendant. We cycled out and spotted some Pho places so we parked up. A man was waving aggressively at us; pointing at a chair but we decide to chose the place next door. They both claim to be Lonely Planet approved (what does that even mean?) so still not sure if they were the same fam or not. The aggressive man was deaf and mute so I guess that explains his big actions. I know this because it says on their front banner- I thank you.

Afterwards we cycled the 3km to Thien Mu Pagoda. Nice wee ride along the Perfume River. We got there and de-mounted our iron horses in the car park but apparently the polis would come and take them away so this kind brother was offering to look after them for 10,000 dng. We politely declined and parked just round the corner from the pagoda. However the whole pagoda experience was tainted by the threat of the polis. So we looked around and left quick sharp for since it was starting to rain a wee bit. Also our bladders needed emptying but some locals decided to sit outside the public toilets and charge a further 10,000 dng to pee. Its only 30p but its the principle, and the zeros.

Anyways while the rest of our two wheeled companions had rain covers. They're like ponchos big enough for man and his bike. We whizzed back to our hostel and relaxed before the free beer between 5-6pm. Great. Then dinner, we walked around the block like 3 times looking for this Japanese restaurant which helps street kids by teaching them how to cook. We kept passing this place called Hot Tuna: 'Hello!... Hello again!' Hehe cheeky locals :-) we eventually asked them to help us out. We couldn't find it because it was closed. Sad face. So we ended up back on the street as our hostel eating the smallest sandwich I have ever encountered. I didn't even bother taking a photo to show you. Maybe I should of. Tiny.

Back to hostel, and sleep in a non moving bed. Huzzah. The dorm had singles and doubles. Sleep was ok. I was woken up by Pete shouting at this drunk guy who was trying to get in bed with us: 'What the hell are you doing?!?'; Drunk 'I don't know...' Heheh he was so drunk. Apparently he had been shuffling around the room for like 30mins trying to find a bed. I was dead to the world so had no idea.

Worse things happen I guess.

Wake up. Vietnamese coffee for the buzz then on the bus to Hoi an ...

Crossing the road

We're in Hanoi.

We booked a taxi through a private airport company because apparently there's lots of scams at Hanoi airport. Our flight was 1 hr delayed from Vientiane- I won't miss Laos time. I hoped the driver was still going to be waiting there with his sign. He was there. No worries. His taxi was unmarked which I thought was unusual because their website makes them out to be a big airport taxi company.

The roads in Hanoi are crazy. There is constant honking from all the traffic, and there is HUNNERDS of motorbikes and scooters. Weaving in and out. He was driving on the wrong side of the road at one point! Just cruising towards oncoming traffic. $16, fixed.

Our hostel had free bicycle hire so we decided to try them out the next day. The first street we came to was a crossroad with just one way of solid traffic so we were like oh. There was motorbikes in the same position as us but they would just nip to the middle and then edge their way to the other side. We got off our bikes and decided to walk them across the zebra crossing. The traffic didn't stop at first so we just waited. Meanwhile motorbikes are still edging their way across the road so we're like oh no we're just going to have to go for it and right enough you just cross slowly and the bikes weave round you. The cars you have to wait for, obviously. Crossing the road on foot is much the same. Just walk slow and watch out for the cars; the bikes will work around you...

Traffic in all directions but it works.

THAILAND

Bangkok was just as busy but not as many bikes. There is a 2 minute countdown for the green man (if you can find one) but locals just walk out, stick up their hand to stop the traffic. I saw it work a few times. I didn't try it or see any tourists brave enough to imitate this procedure!

Stick with a local and use them as a shield,ie with them between you and the traffic. Or wait for the green man.

HONG KONG

Its fine here.

BEIJING

There's green men but that doesn't mean anything. Cars drive through red lights. We found the best way was just to RUN.

JAPAN

Zebra crossings are everywhere. Its great. As soon as you walk up to one all the traffic will stop. The first place I've been where pedestrians seem to rule the road if that makes sense?? We were here before Beijing and nearly got killed the first time we tried to cross the road in Beijing.

That's all for now. Safe.

Vang Vieng

The minibus journey from Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng...

A tuk tuk turns up at our hostel and we're like ah bums, what have we paid for. Turns out it was just taking us to the bus station which was just full of minibuses getting ready to go to different places. The tuk tuk driver pointed us vaguely towards the Vang Vieng stand. I thank you. We get in the queue then 11 of us tumble into this minibus while 4 local guys try to fit all our backpacks into the boot. Eventually the people in the back row were fed up of getting their heads knocked about so they held the bags while the guys piled on the bags and sure enough the boot closed. Let's go!! Or not. We sit there for 20 minutes until eventually a woman opens the door and tells us that this bus doesn't leave til 2pm (its 10am) so we should move to the next one. Same same, no? No. So we all pile in the car and the bags get strapped up top. The driver jumps in, and then we're driving up and down MOUNTAINS for 7 hours.

The driver beeps his horn to warn oncoming traffic and then swings into a blind turn. The roads were windy so that's just how it works. Our driver was even overtaking lorries on these bends, it was crazy. The scenery was amazing though, and every now and then we would pass little roadside villages with their bamboo mountainside huts. There's lots of naked children playing around, and school kids, cows, chickens, dogs lying idly at the side of the road. Great. Our driver swerved them all without braking. The roads are bumpy too so don't party too hard the night before because you won't get any sleep. I tried, and it just caused my head to bash off the window... There was a row of Laotians in front of us and they managed to sleep no problem, no flopping heads, how?!?!

Anyways, after a few hours we stopped for a food break. Pete was convinced the woman who sold us our sandwich was the same woman from the bus station. I don't remember what either woman looked like but it wouldn't surprise me if they stopped at their pals roadside shop and ripped off the tourists together? We were charged double the guy in front because we asked for some Laughing Cow triangle cheese in our sandwich, c'mon!

The view during lunch...

We get into Vang Vieng at about 5pm. None of us knew where the bus station was in relation to the town so we had to pay 10,000 kip each (x8, the guy must have been laughing) to drive us 5 minutes down the road. Its only about 80p but the 0's make it feel like more, and yeah, just walk it... He dropped us at the hostels by the river but me and Pete chose to go the main road where it would be quieter because we wanted some rest before tubing the next day. We stayed at Nazim's Guesthouse, (next to one of the 2 ATM machines in town) 60, 000 kip for a double with a fan.

We dropped off our bags, relaxed for a bit then went out to find dinner. There's only about 3 main roads in this wee town and you find yourself picking a restaurant depending on how busy it is, and what's on the tele. The food is rubbish where ever you go. The restaurants all have the same layout- low tables and cushions so you can spend all day slouching, watching Friends or Family Guy. There won't be any restaurant reviews in this post but the pancakes from the street vendors are good!

Day 2, time for tubing. Yeahhh!

I was told not to take anything with me unless I wanted to lose it, even flip flops (slight exaggeration) but anyways we went out to buy some cheap ones which also doubled up as great wee paddles. We then had to go hire the tubes- it was 55,000 kip and a 60, 000 kip deposit which you get back as long as you return the tube by 6pm. They will also write your deposit number on your arm with a permanent marker. This can be likened to when a farmer brands their cows, or marks their sheep with red paint or something, you know the deal. Then they drive you up to the 'start' point of the river. Great. A man will appear out of the bushes offering you free Laos whiskey. Take a shot, and then walk across the bridge to the first bar. Dump your tube in the pile of other ones.

I can't describe how surreal an experience it is. Its just past noon, you're in beautiful Laos, next to a glistening river... and the music is pounding and everyone around you is drunk, already. Drinks are only served in buckets and there's free shots of whiskey waiting at every bar. Free. Help yourself. There's people swinging from rope swings like 3 storeys high. Its crazy. And then soon they will grab a rubber ring and float down to the next bar. Crazzyyyyy.

At the first bar we ended up playing beer pong with 2 guys who were doing promo for one of the bars, Gibson and Jasper (you couldn't make this shit up). They beat us by one cup but we were winning the whole time, hustlers. By the time we had finished most people had moved onto the next bar across the river. They had taken all the tubes with them though so we're like, now what? Gibson said no worries as long as you have been branded like a farm animal you'll get a tube so we waited for the next peeps to arrive at the bar then took their tubes and we were away... The waters cold, and the currents quite strong. At every bar there's a guy waiting with a plastic bottle attached to a rope which he'll throw out to pull you into the bar. Just hold on tight and soon you'll be at the next bar. Note- There's no graceful way of getting out of a tube. Drunk or not.

The second bar is the one with all the rambo head bands, permanent markers, stencils, spray paint and biggest rope swing in the world. I think within about 10 minutes of us getting there, Pete had a silver tie spray painted on his chest. Pete and I also plucked up the courage to do the rope swing (it doesn't take much). We went seperate so someone was keeping an eye on our money. I went up with one of the Irish guys we met, Gavin. Its SO high up. I got up there and he was like, 'on you go.' I was like, 'no no, you go first!' I've done this like tree times, you go, go on'. We ended up going together, I think he left just a little bit before me or his weight seemed to make things go faster. I didn't want to let go. He was like, 'after 3 we let go'. Ok, fuck, well there's no other way I'm going to get down. For some reason, I decided to flop into the water on the back of my leg. Just slap on down. I thought I had ripped it open. The current immediately pulls you so you have to start swimming straight away towards the bar. Ouch that's going to hurt in the morning.

There's only a wee stretch of bars and then you tube the rest of the way. We lost a lot of people either in front of us, or behind. Who knows. A lot of people just go to a few bars then catch a tuk tuk back to the town. We didn't get to do an extended amount of tubing because we had to jump out at one of the bars to rush back for our deposit....

Sooo. The next day we hired bikes and cycled out to the Blue Lagoon. The surroundings are beautiful. I took a waterproof camera so still waiting to see what the pictures turn out like. I met a group of 4 boys, probably no more than 4 years old and I asked them if it was okay to take a photo. Then one of them made like a writing motion on his hand. I was like, oh you want to write something. And then he looked in the basket at the front of my bike and pointed to my water bottle, I pointed back at his, and said, 'same same'. Pete was like, 'what are you doing?? He was looking through your stuff.' I only had water and a disposable camera so no biggie but on reflection- the little guy was asking for money! He was only like 4 years old. I just didn't expect it at all. I thought since they were little kids they wanted me to write my name or something haha. How naïve of me. I don't think I'd want to give kids that young money, and how much?

The Blue Lagoon is about 7km out of town and its beautiful, really relaxing. Get a map, and ignore all the signs on the way there claiming to be the Lagoon. The locals will charge you 10, 000 kip to cross the bridge once you get there but whatever. The water is cool and filled with fish, just what you need after a long cycle.

Went for a curry at Nazim's Indian Restaurant (not sure if it was affiliated with our guesthouse) that night. This food here wasn't great either. Within a few hours I was out of bed and being sick. Repeat ,all night. The next day I couldn't even keep water down so I was just in bed all day, DYING. Dehydrated, no energy because it left me the night before, legs I could barely move from the fall, arms sore from the swing. Deathbed.

Just do the tubing.